MAMALUST: A CALL TO RIPEN
Has the act of parting ever been easy? When it comes to saying goodbye, I believe that we have the ability to be at peace with what has come, gone, and no longer is. Choosing how to view our unique journeys as they unfold is a decision we must make independently. As many of us, if not all, have had the daunting task of ending a chapter willingly or without any say in the matter, there is the option to see life’s pilgrimage as something to revere. At times the present moment can be full of uncertainty and anxiety because we have absolutely no clue what the future holds as we cling on to memories of how things used to be. Somehow we teach ourselves to continue, because the show must go on!
Motherhood has particularly been a valuable teacher in helping me to understand and learn the art of letting go and embracing simultaneously. From the very moment that I found out I was pregnant my mind began to shift gear. I literally felt my evolution commence as my rite of passage started. Honestly, in the midst of my bravery, (because becoming a mother takes courage) I was outright terrified. Of what you ask? Losing myself. Having a personality that thrives off of movement, fluidity is the foundation of who I am at my best (in my opinion). Perhaps I can partially attribute this to the fact that I am a water sign (Pisces). Nonetheless, I knew that motherhood would change the chemistry of my movements and self-exploration. Notice that I didn’t say it would stop me completely, but I assumed I would have to learn a new way.
Having a child is a full time job that in some shape or form lasts for the rest of your life. Obviously as your child or children get older and more independent your role will evolve and you will become less responsible for their wellbeing as their minds and voices develop and they make their own decisions. But in the meantime, it isn’t as easy to be on the go and live for yourself doing whatever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want to when you’re a mother and it’s no longer just about you. It’s basically the best unpaid (monetarily) job you’ll ever have but if you’re going to be any good at it, it will take blood, sweat, and tears. I was fully aware of this. I knew there would be sacrifices and adjustments I would have to make and I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes to consciously make an effort to live the mom life the best way I can but that didn’t make saying goodbye to certain aspects of myself any easier. Do you know how scary that can be? Diving in head first and letting go of everything you know (or think you know) about yourself!
As women prepare to, and do bring humans into the world, an almost automatic exploration of our entire soul happens. We dissect our whole characters. Certain things we didn’t pay attention to before become our fixation while other things no longer matter. Many of us have desires for our children and we realize that some of who they become will be based off of who we as mothers aim to be. We also have desires for ourselves and if we haven’t already been acting out on these desires we start asking, “What on earth have I been doing all this time?”, and now realize that we will have to find a way to be our best versions for everyone’s sake (with less free time). Basically, motherhood is a reality check at its finest.
So what happens when the courses of our lives change? We invent new ways to describe what comes with our experiences. If you’re not already familiar with the term wanderlust, it is defined as a strong desire to travel and the longing for or impulse towards wandering. It is that extremely irresistible and overwhelming urge to be in nature, high up on mountain tops, by hiking or climbing, breathing in fresh air. It is that deep uncontrollable desire to hit the road and travel, by whatever means necessary; the soul’s yearning to explore and enjoy the world. Words like impulse and nature, desire and urge, explore and enjoy all stand out, highlighting that wanderlust is the epitome of what we all long for in life: adventure and excitement.
Mamalust is my spin on wanderlust from the perspective of having joined one of the largest organized gangs in the world: MOMS. Mamalust represents the parts that matter that we don’t want to lose as we take on the title as someone’s main nurturer. It is the many parts of who we as women uniquely are at our core (and can easily forget in self-sacrifice) alongside our motherly duties. Somehow women find a way to continue. This is what mamalust represents. At times as mothers in particular we will find ourselves disconnected from our creative passions. Even when days, weeks, months and sometimes years go by when the time is right we all have something that can bring us back to life again. Whatever it is that keeps your flame burning slowly or reignites it when it has been completely blown out, this is the essence of mamalust. In short, mamalust is the desire to keep our personal adventure alive. Mamas deserve to have pleasure and delight too!
Before one can fully embrace their mamalust essence they will need to accept the truth: We do change. But the bigger and more important truth is that most times, change isn’t a bad thing. A lot of the time it’s actually a good thing! The sooner you not only realize, but also embrace this concept, the better. At the end of the day it’s all about our approach and how honest we are with ourselves. For me personally, as much as my inner self knows that change and growth are a necessary and natural part of life, I still don’t always like when it occurs (sometimes I love it). In giving birth to my daughter I also in the process gave birth to a new me. One day I was having a conversation with a college friend of mine who is also a fellow mother and her words couldn’t be more true. She said, “Everything you thought you knew about yourself changes once you’re a mom. Your growth skyrockets, sometimes so fast you can’t catch up.”
Our identity is ever evolving. I feel like I am and I am becoming more of myself thanks to accepting the call of motherhood. It brought more passion to my fight to be alive, to survive, and to thrive. How? Because my daughter became my WHY and she’s a damn good reason to want to be here and enjoy myself while I’m at it. I know from my own experience that many of the women that have inspired me the most are mothers that didn't and don’t let the title stop them from accomplishing, doing, being and going wherever they are lead (not in a selfish way, but in a courageously baddass way that benefits their children immensely by showing them how to multitask and achieve in all areas of life that are important to them).
Every day as mothers we must look for inspiration that will push us forward and upward. On the not so easy days we must reassure ourselves that all is well and we must be patient as we are growing. It takes time to get into a flow and sometimes just when we may have thought we got a routine down, something new happens and we start from scratch. If we neglect ourselves, our children will suffer as well. There is only one good option and that is and will always be to put our best foot forward. By staying in tune with the wild majestic nature of what it means to be a woman and embracing the beauty of feminine energy we will realize over and over that just because we are mothers doesn’t mean that our lives are over; if anything things get way more exciting. You will learn to be conscious of your time and what matters. You will learn how to actively live intentionally. After all, life isn’t just a noun; it’s also a verb, to be acted out passionately.
I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve had tons of, “What am I doing with my life/ what is life?” moments even before becoming a mother so truthfully, making time to live intentionally is nothing brand new, I just have less time to clown around. On the days that I am feeling uninspired my mamalust reminds me to connect to the self-love and appreciation I need to be creative and seek fulfillment. I’m dedicated to making my life all that I want it to be. Every day I balance between who I was, am, and am becoming and I'm constantly learning how to integrate all the parts of me. Motherhood has been a call to ripen, to bloom. Mamalust encapsulates this whole idea. It’s the reminder that great mothers can and do live extraordinary lives.